Saturday, March 13, 2010

Random Venting...

So, I was just doing my 'new rountine' over on my favorite site- 'Blog for a Cure', which consists of checking all the new posts since the day before since I wake up at 4 am every morning now, it's become  my daily thing. I read them ALL and try to either comment on them or send a cancer punch to the person's cancer. Or just 'like' their post if I have nothing to say, one I read this morning, got me thinking about one of my own pet peeves in dealing with this damn Cancer and being a 'patient' again as opposed to just a 'survivor', I'm both I guess, but here's my irritation, why, Why. WHY do friends, family, and acquaintances expect the patient to be the one to hold their hand and make them feel better? Why is it MY job to call and talk to you every day? Maybe I'm tired today...maybe I'm having pain, maybe I just don't like talking on the freaking phone (me- I HATE talking on the phone), maybe I'm doing something I like doing and don't have time to waste coddling someone else, like for instance, I am NOT going to commiserate with you because you had a flippin wart frozen off your lip and they didn't give you narcotic pain meds, nor will I feel sorry for you that the dentist only prescribed Ibuprofen to you after pulling a tooth that wasn't even infected. Sorry, wrong person to come to for sympathy. I had 2 tension sutures dug out of my gut that had ate there way into my flesh due to crappy medical care a few weeks ago with NOTHING but a washcloth given to me to squeeze, bite, whatever...I've had numerous surgeries the last few years, I have a rash from chemo that is extremely painful just moving certain ways or if anything touches it in places, so NO, sorry, I don't think I can simper with you and say ohhh poor baby about your stupid freakin wart, try having a softball size tumor removed with part of your colon or a small basketball sized one removed  with an ovary along with all your female organs, hell try giving birth to 3 kids that each weighed over 9 lbs, then get back to me about your pain.

That crap irks me, there are people out there much worse off than ME, so I don't whine, bitch or moan much about my issues/pain/illness, I vent occassionally, but mostly it's a " woke up at 4 am  with an OUCH again, took meds, time to blah blah blah..." type update, or as part of my status on Facebook...so when someone who has NOTHING wrong with them, whines about every little fart they make, I get very annoyed. And when people expect me to make them feel better about my health issues? Um that one is annoying too, it's NOT the patient's job to console everyone else around them. MY KIDS, yes indeed, but the rest of y'all are on your own and capable of finding your own way to deal. So this brings me to the post I read this morning...Actually, I am not even sure this is a legit story, because I find it hard to fathom in this day and age  and having had the crappy medical mishaps I've personally had so many of myself, that there is ANY dr out there who does not tell a patient, but tells her parents and husband that she has 6-8 weeks to live. I'm sorry, I just don't see it, maybe I'm wrong, but I know that my dr's are always very informative, yes, mine had to be asked to give me a damn time limit, because he doesn't like to do that, but he did it when I asked, he is wrong... (  ;)   ) but he told me single digit months when I asked him in January. There's just so much about the person that I was reading about that sounds kinda ehh...like is this even legit? The person blogging the story is her 'best friend' of 25 years talking about this woman with intestinal cancer (I assume she has colorectal like I do) and how her parents and her husband are bickering in front of her in her hospital room, how her husband is making her not take her pain meds like she is supposed to (though from what she types- I'm not sure that may not be a good call as it seems they have her doped up to an incoherent state?) I don't know, I read her latest post from last night and it made me think something was weird, so I went and read all the posts from this person, it just made me wonder if this person's story was true. I hate to think people fake these things, but, the reality is, they do, it's sad and I wouldn't want the Karma they rack up...but I know it's a fact, because I have a brother, who every time I've gotten sick, had a set back, etc, has come up with some new malady he is dying of, it's been AIDS a few times, a lesion on his liver, a lesion on his brain, that was in December. Then this last time, he had a wart on his lip and swore it was a tumor to my mom, who FALLS for all this bs...His only malady, is that he is a self medicating (insert alcoholoc) bipolar manic depressive, who has always had all the attention on him, so when anyone else is garnering any from him for any reason, it's time to come up with something else. When my sister and I were pregnant and had our kids, when I've been sick, he always comes up with something. He tried to blame a brain lesion on his mood swings, sorry buddy, you were like that at birth, you were BORN bipolar, You have not had a brain tumor for 31 years  making you nutty. That's just YOU. Personally, I'm sick of it, and I don't mince words, like I've told him the past 2 days, don't whine at me about your pain, I don't want to hear it, you know NOTHING about real pain, nor do you need narcotics for every twinge. You're just trying to self medicate, grow up and get some help. I have no help for you. Nor do I have any tolerance. This is one of the things I am eliminating from my life, I don't HAVE to deal with your bullshit, and I'm not going to.

Well, got that out, and oddly enough, now I am having some pain in my back lol. Ah, well, it'll go away in a bit.
~Gwen

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